Mom and Dad. Why Should the Parenting NOT Be Different?

Break the stereotypes. Shed ignorance. Don’t let society label you.

Any familiar?

Nowadays, social media is filled with such slogans and everybody is behind unleashing themselves from the struggle every stereotype has got them into. Why have people lost the tolerance to the conventions which have been bestowed upon by the society under the label of ‘way of life?’ Everything has a fixed template and one who doesn’t fit is a fish out of water. From the choice of your outfit to your profession, everything has some standard set of rules to follow. Even before the birth of a child, people choose the color of the baby room; if it’s a girl, all pink and if it’s a boy, blue it is. Can’t a boy have pink as his favorite color?

The more you reason, the less you tolerate.Parenting

The recent years have certainly seen some assertive changes where people are taking different career paths than the traditional ones. But, the most bizarre fact is that these stereotypes also have their roots dug deep into the whole notion of ‘relations’ in Indian society.

The society has set boundaries of how relationships should be. Every relation has its own conventional methods to carry forward as per the rules set by some highbrows the longest time ago. If you rebel such conventions, the society has proofs of generations following the same path. For example, the mother-in-law syndrome, the boyfriend syndrome, the wife syndrome and many other syndromes flooding the society.

But the above syndromes come in the later part of life when our brain has already been shaped, witnessed and sub-consciously accepted the stereotypes in some way or the other. But for a child, society is its mom and dad. The way they behave the child thinks the society behaves. The parenting psychology of the parents builds the foundation of the child’s psychology. The role of parents in a child’s life is most important and critical in the early age as children are very observant, they sub-consciously build the outline of the society looking at how their parents behave. This is where the parents can stop the child’s thinking getting typecast. A balance in parenting styles plays a major role in keeping the child away from unwanted conventions and towards developing the Emotional Quotient (EQ) of a child.

Now, why is there an imbalance in a majority of cases?

A mother’s love is tender; she will love her child no matter what happens with all her heart, whilst a father’s love is tough and practical (In fact Bollywood has helped in popularising this viewpoint by showing fathers dragging the brat out of the house while the mother pleads). These statements are not new as some find pride in that while for few it’s darn funny! But there lies a subtle warning in the quote overshadowed by the sugar-coated stereotype. It tells us that there are few set rules of how a mother and father should behave in front of their child and any behavior apart from this is just abnormal, not even different. A father cannot be nurturing and he can’t get the diaper right in the first place. On the other hand, you will find no quotes and ads that say ‘My Mommy Strongest.’ Many would say that this is how society is and how nature has made these two opposite sexes. Some people would come forward to go back to the Stone Age and explain that women are meant to nurture and men to hunt for a living. This is how civilizations have grown and this is how it will continue.

Nature has made a man and woman different, physically, anatomically and of course mentally. They function differently when it comes to emotions and that is a universal fact. No war of words here but that doesn’t mean that these two opposite sexes can never show emotions apart from the standard set given by the society.

If children are introduced to such clichéd types of parenting, they might show the following behavioral patterns growing up:

  • The child might fail to differentiate between progressive and regressive thinking and some might continue behaving the same way with their kids and the cycle would ultimately continue.
  • Children can also get confused and trapped between the thinking of their parents leading to detachment, loneliness and thus inviting mental disorders such as depression and anxiety, etc.
  • The children as goes the human nature can get attached to the one who is more lenient and distance themselves from the other strict parent creating a big communication gap. In most cases, kids are seen discussing their fears and problems to their mothers while most of the fathers have no idea what’s going on in their child’s life.
  • Another disadvantage is that the children can grow manipulative from a young age by favoring one parent who is less strict than the other to get their things done. This is quite harmful to the child as growing up he or she will face problems in relations, accepting rejections, anger mismanagement, etc.

Such imbalance is not healthy when it comes to raising a child. Parents should remember the fact that the children they raise are to going shape the society and lay a foundation for the future generations and hence, it is important that every child is raised with a sense of equality and fairness.

There comes a HOW! How can parents balance their parenting styles?Parenting

  • Firstly, parents should not underestimate the brain of their baby as they are excellent observers. These little Sherlock Holmes always have an eye on how you behave. They learn about the world from you.
  • Secondly, parents should switch roles in front of their children. Maybe sometimes a dad can cook and mom can teach their child ride a bicycle. This way the child finds it easier to communicate with both of them in his or her good and worse times. It is important that children find it comfortable to speak to any of the parents easily if they get in trouble sometimes.
  • Finally, parents should not follow the stereotypes of behavior themselves. They can change a little bit to bring about a greater change in their child’s life.

The psychology of the society has flaws as its benefits and change in the minds of billions cannot happen by snapping fingers like Iron Man, but it certainly can start from your home by becoming the leading light for generations to come.

Also Read: The Foundation for Good Education Begins at Home

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